endings.

i am feeling a sense of unwanted closure. it is the end of the school year and an end to a chapter of my life. although i will be back next year i know it will not be the same. it won't be the same sense of adventure, the same struggles, the same dangerous excitement, the same friends.

i'm starting to dread the loss of a sister, the seperation and growing apart from my dear friends here over the summer, and the loss of routine.

but i am so excited about coming home. this semester i feel i have lost much ground in many of my friendships. i feel like i've seen part of where the true priorities lay. i do not have on rose colored glasses anymore.

in fact, i will once again be reunited with a friend who i have been seperated from for the year and i am completely unaware as to how to handle that friendship again. in my heart i want it to be the same as before, but i know it cannot, so i am just hoping and praying that God will make me willing to take what He wants for the friendship.

i am feeling unable to take on the next phase of life. waking up at 6:30 every morning for work - taking an online English class - dealing with things from home again....but God never gives us more than we can bear...amen?

my heart is heavy. there's so much to look forward to, but there are so many things passing that i just want life to slow down again. God is going to have to grab my hand on this one - not sure how much longer i can hold on. but He's pretty amazing like that. He won't let go.

and guys - i miss you. seriously.