let's get together...

some thoughts...just for you, jill :)

2008-07-28T14:52:00.002-05:00

hello, hello!

so, its been a while. mmm understatement--its been a long time! i'm sorry for not writing as much as i would like. to be honest, my own little 'blog' has suffered some this summer due to my busy schedule and lack of internet at times (can a blog suffer? haha)...

needless to say, i prevailed! i am at the office and letting some video work do its thang and figured i'd throw down some thoughts.

i had breakfast with one of the students in our high school ministry this morning and it was deeply encouraging, to say the least.

i asked her if she thought our youth group was 'spiritually dead...asleep...whatever you wanna call it.' She nodded and agreed heartily. when i asked her why that was she said, to this effect, that we are easily satisfied and its just 'what you do.'

i then began to unpack some of my own thoughts on this 'issue'--we are far too easily satisfied; we don't see our need for a savior; grace doesn't mean anything to us anymore (we ultimately don't think we need it), we are not captivated by the cross, and for most of us, we have grown up in the church and its just become that 'thing that we do.'

i mean, lets be honest, real quick; this issue of complacency isn't just in the youth group i am working with this summer in dallas. it affects all people at all times. it isn't an 'us' issue but rather a 'me' issue--if you get what i'm saying.

i am fear too easily satisfied; i don't see my need for a savior a lot of the time; grace loses its depth in my 'best moments'; i'm not fascinated by the cross...you get the picture.

can we ever 'curb' this 'spirit of death?' i don't know. i do know, though, that the holy spirit alone can change the hearts of men and that anything is possible. i think if we spent a bit more time on our knees, begging and pleading on behalf of our students/friends/ourselves and asked for transformation instead of just information--something crazy might happen.

who knows, though. i'm praying that the holy spirit rains down on this youth group and that these kids will forever be changed...

black knight

2008-07-27T00:06:00.001-05:00

anyone?? thoughts?

paperbackswap.com

2008-07-13T17:08:00.002-05:00

i miss you guys. i have been thinking alot about this blog and how i wish we had more time to use it maybe once a week. maybe that's a goal? anyway, i have joined this amazing site called paperbackswap.com. basically you log on and list all the books you own that you don't necessarily want anymore, which then gives you credits to request any book you want. they literally have basically every book ever written! you have to pay the shipping for the books that are requested from you, but the books you receive are free, making the cost of each book around $2 approx. it's amazing! i think i have gotten 14 books. :) woohoo!!

what amazing things have you guys run into lately?

Please pray

2008-04-13T21:43:00.002-05:00

Hey guys please pray a lot for my friend Abbi. She has mono and this is a horrible week for her to have it because next week is finals. Her dad picked her up today and she's not planning on being here this whole week. She's really not doing well and it's hit her really really hard. And we all hate seeing her like this...she's just a really happy person all the time.

So yeah. Please pray that God works a miracle and she doesn't have the usual 2 rough weeks of mono and she can be back here for finals. She was kind of afraid to go home because she didn't think she would come back. And pray that her boyfriend didn't get sick [she got it from drinking after someone else]. And yeah...just pray a lot. Thanks!

The Church of Oprah

2008-04-09T07:30:00.003-05:00

This is so disturbing. We talked about this in my Foundations of Nursing class [of all classes!] and we had a really good discussion about it. It's so crazy how much power Oprah has and it's scary! Please watch it - it's worth it. What are your thoughts on this??? I have a lot of thoughts, but I want to hear what you guys think to start it off since I was just in a discussion....

the emergent church...

2008-03-31T09:27:00.002-05:00

what are ya'lls thoughts on the emergent church? just curious as i've had some interesting conversations with different people over the past few days....

for me, i think that the emergent church, as a whole, has an awesome vision on community, missional living, and authenticity but is definitely lacking in doctrine/sound theology. they question a lot of essentials within christian theology and that is scary...

some people that you might know that are categorized, generally, as 'emergent thinkers' would be rob bell, brian mclaren, donald miller and a whole host of others (by labeling them as 'emergent thinkers' is it obvious that they are all 'emergent thinkers' to varying degrees)...

anyways, i just wanted to see what ya'll thought about this huge postmodern ideal...

http://www.emergentvillage.com/

http://emergingwomen.blogspot.com/

It's been a while...

2008-02-09T16:43:00.001-05:00

I miss hearing from you guys...

questions....

2008-01-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

so, i read a lot. okay, maybe that is an understatement but come on. :)

since i do read a lot i feel like i have a lot of questions. a lot of the times i find the answers to them. some of the times i question basic thoughts of theology because i just want to 'make sure' i am thinking along the same lines as i feel like i should be....maybe i have a confidence issue but regardless, i have a question i want to ask. maybe you can help me :)

so a few weeks ago i was in the middle of 'a glimpse of jesus' by brennan manning. i would definitely encourage any and all to read this book on self-hatred. it is remarkable but some of the things manning stated in it i wasn't so sure what to think. i've heard it discussed a few times before but never really got any solid answers.

so, my question is this: is it true that we have to 'accept' or 'love' ourselves before we can ever fully love God muchless another human being? I've heard psychologist type people talk about 'loving yourself first' in order to fully get out of your 'pit' (whether it be cutting, depression, eating disorders, etc). Manning stated "we can only sense ourselves and our world valued and cherished by God when we feel valued and cherished by others" (p. 35).

I'm not sure what to think about this, honestly. I don't think we have to 'love ourselves first' before we can reach out and love others, or God. He uses the weakest of vessels to do His work.

So, if you have any thoughts or whatever. shoot them my way. I would love to hear what you have to say because I've been thinking about it for a while and I haven't really gotten anywhere.

Hope you are all doing well....

Announcement!

2008-01-01T05:52:00.000-05:00

There is a group of 20 (so far...join the number!) that have decided to read through the Bible chronologically in a year. Most of us have a Bible that presents the scriptures in that order, but it is not necessary to own, because there is a website which offers the passages in order for you to look them up.

The group of people deciding to do this are going to be posting on a blog. Well, my Aunt and I are posting on the blog, but there is a message board for everyone to post on.

The link to the website is here.

Please join us in this enriching endeavor!!

forgiveness

2007-11-27T20:10:00.000-05:00

is it really possible for human beings to forgive? i've been going through a situation and reading an article which has invariably pushed me to this question. there are all sorts of theories and methods to forgive - being humble because you cannot forgive and have pride and you cannot have pride and forgive - finding you worth in Jesus that you have enough love to forgive others - repenting for your share of the issue at hand - being willing to pay the price for the sins instead of demand them from the other person....

yes these are VALUABLE points and definitely get the "forgiver" in the right frame of mind, but does it really work? do we simply attribute flukes to the true success of forgiveness? sometimes we are able to forgive, and it seems as though sometimes we are not...is this always the result of an ability or is it more of a "maybe this time it will happen, maybe this time it won't" type of situation?

clearly i'm having problems coming to conclusions on this topic, and as i continue to study i will check in again...but give me your thoughts please. i would love to know your experience with this....

Colleen and Kristin

2007-10-12T23:11:00.000-05:00

I love my suitemates =] I really do. They're amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better pair of girls.

finally

2007-10-12T12:17:00.000-05:00

fall break couldn't have come fast enough......

a little update...

2007-10-09T08:33:00.000-05:00

I have had some great times this semester, for sure! From Mountain Affair to Jazz on the Overlook to going to spending time on 5th North with some sweet friends...it has been a blast. I am so thankful for the people in my life and how they challenge me on a daily basis...

i'll write more later but i have a youth ministry test in a few hours and i should probably get dressed =D

i hope you all are seeking Him in your everyday lives and arn't forgetting the Gospel message....place it in the context of your relationships. it is a beautiful things....

lonliness

2007-10-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

i hate that feeling when you're lonely but there's people all around you.

not that you're lonely for friends...but that you're lonely for closeness. i miss the days when andrew, abby, and i would squeeze on a couch and have to sit so close that we were touching at all times. i miss closeness. i miss the closeness of siblings. i hate having to be the only member of my family in a random state in the south. i hate being alone.

i just want to be held. i want to snuggle up with my dad and not have to leave in 3 days to come back to georgia. i'm tired.

*sigh*

Feels Like Home to Me

2007-10-05T23:52:00.000-05:00

So I'm home for the weekend! =] It's nice to be home, but I really miss Shatty. I thought I'd tell you guys what happened that was an amazing God thing [I don't really like that phrase, but it works for now].

So literally an hour after I posted my last blog, two of my girls came out of their rooms all excited while I was sitting in the hallway working on something. They came over to me, and were all ADHD or something, and one of them asked me what was on my arm. [I'd written JOY, LOVE, and PEACE on my wrist.] And I kind of explained that they're the things I'm working on this week and I thought she'd let it go at that like most people had done, but instead she asked me more. And one thing led to another and I was pretty much re-telling my blog and the three of us sat in the hallway for 3 hours talking about everything. It was amazing. An hour earlier, I was lonely, and now I was talking about life and everything with these two girls that I had already respected. They told me how they ended up at IWU and with their major and what was going on in their lives and how it had changed, etc. It was wonderful. =]

And now I'm home [took wayyyyy too long because we took a "quicker, scenic" route, meaning it was a straight shot, but it was all through little towns =[ ], and tomorrow I'm going to Spoon River Drive and Christ's Orchard and then to WIU for Jordan's band competition and spending lots of time with muh family. =] Exciting!

Hey guyssss.....

2007-10-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

Okay. I'm writing in Georgia font =] ...in honor of the half of us who live there.

So honestly, guys? Life is wonderful. I love college. I love the girls on my floor [Uno Shat] and I love Shatford. These girls have become like family to me. They all left last weekend, and it was so desolate and boring and I felt alone. There was no one in any of my surrounding rooms and my roommate was gone to Indy. So yeah. Needless to say, I was overjoyed when they all got back.

Goin' home this weekend for mi madre's cumpleaños y Luke y Julie's fiesta. =] At least I think there's a fiesta....hope so. Either way, I'm going home and I'm pretty excited about it =] [Other than the fact that Jill's going home the weekend in between my two weekends going home =/ ] So I'm pretty excited to go to Christ's orchard and get some apple cider, get the new Emery cd, and hang out with my family that I've really really missed.

But I must say that even with all this wonderfulness going on and me getting closer with all these girls, I feel alone. Our closeness isn't to the spiritual closeness yet. And my relationship with my roomie is completely changed. We used to be best friends, but now it's like...we never talk. And I'm really okay with that. It's like I just don't have much to say to her. We hang out with different people, which is great, but then we hardly hang out. And I don't really miss that...and for that I feel like a horrible person. I mean, a month and a half ago, she was my best friend, and now we don't really talk. I don't know. And I feel like I'm not quite to the point where I really wanna share with my girls how I feel, and yet, I want someone to hold me, understand, snuggle with me, watch a really romantic, crying movie with me.

And I'm really insecure. Like...I feel like these girls think I'm annoying or too touchy or something. I don't think they are, but at the same time, I wonder. And sometimes I really wonder if I'm bipolar because I'm all dandy, but then I get really down and don't want to make others feel down, so I go away from people. And it can last for a few hours or a few days...

Speaking of romantic, there's been a lot of talk about boys and relationships, and more. And I've never had that and a lot of the other girls haven't. But there are girls who are in relationships now, and it really makes me want a guy. But I know it's not for the right reasons. At this point, it would only be to satisfy my wants, which isn't fair.

So those are my struggles right now. That's what's going on in my life. I just made everything sound horrible, but overall, life is wonderful =]

How are your lives going? Post or comment, por favor.

Here are most of my girls...

please take one minute to read these...soak it in

2007-09-20T22:54:00.000-05:00

I long for your embrace
Every single day
To meet you in this place
And see you face to face

Will you show me?
Reveal yourself to me
Because of your mercy
I fall down on my knees

And I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

You're everywhere I go
I am not alone
You call me as your own
To know you and be known

You are holy
And I fall down on my knees

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

I surrender to your grace
I surrender to the one who took my place

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender:

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

classics

2007-07-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

so who else likes reading classics? i love reading. i have forgotten how much cause i haven't had the time for so long to just sit down and read a good book. so my friend katie and i decided to read a biography together. we traversed to barnes and noble and started perusing the biography section....

we narrowed it down to two but we just couldn't decide so we both decided to buy one and then switch. hers is about the vanderbilts and mine is about a little girl who grew up nazi. her parents even voted for hitler. sounds like it'll be good.

what have you been reading lately?

blessings.

2007-07-23T01:13:00.000-05:00

isn't it amazing that God can take you at your most moldable moment and totally transform your outlook on life? i was sitting on my couch thinking about a decision i had just made. it wasn't the decision i had wanted to make. but it was what was best for the situation. anyway, i was feeling rather listless...ready to be spontaneous. and then God worked one of his miracles.

it's amazing how speaking to someone who shares your heartsong can make the melody in your heart louder and clearer, but that is what happened to me tonight. i have a renewed sense of hope and grace. God has so much in store for us that we don't even realize. and he is good.

i love the fact that he makes people specifically fitted to your life, even if it is just for a season. God is good. all the time.

and all the time...God is good.

whisper

2007-07-13T16:55:00.000-05:00

there seems to be a lack of posting here in our place of congregation. :) and caitlyn was the only one who played my baby picture game. haha. how are you all doing? i have to admit i've been going through a rough time. i am content with where my life is, but it's just so hard to work on relationships you know will only downslide when you are back in a different state at school. what have you guys been working on? i have been working especially on just being loving and unjudgemental. it's hard. fill me in on your lives....

Game time 2

2007-06-16T14:00:00.000-05:00

I couldn't decide which was my favorite, so I used two. That first one is known in my family as "The Booger Picture." If you look close, you'll see why. =]

And here's one of my senior pictures. And I must say that Katie did an amazing job. I REALLY did not want to go do senior pictures, but wow. She did great. I love the artistic angles she got, but my mom doesn't really like those pictures. She prefers the traditional pictures Katie got. My mom thinks that in order for a picture to look good, you have to smile. But I love my pictures.

game time.

2007-06-10T23:23:00.001-05:00

i was looking through my pictures tonight and i was thinking about the things that have gone on in my life so far and i saw pictures from totally opposite ends of the spectrum. i would like to see yours. here is a baby picture and senior picture - post your own!

trust

2007-06-06T13:07:00.000-05:00

Here's what I'm working on this week.../for a long time...

Last night, after a very heated discussion with God, I realized that I've got to trust more. I have to trust God that things will work out. I have to trust Him that He really does know best. It really isn't easy. But I've got nothing left to go on.

I got a card for graduation that had a really cool verse on it and I wrote the verse down on my hand to look it up and highlight it, but I forgot about it and didn't take time to look it up. Then last night, I opened my devotional book and before I read anything I thought to myself, "I need to find that verse again and highlight it. It was really cool." And low and behold, the very first thing I read in my devotions was that same verse. God is strange sometimes. But my circumstances had changed since I'd last read that verse, and this time, the verse hit me harder than ever.

Isaiah 30:21~Whether you turn to the left or to the right, you will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; follow it."
Or in The Message version, which now that I read it, is even more applicable to me: Your teacher will be right there...urging you on whenever you wander left or right: "This is the right road. Walk down this road."

i am ashamed

2007-06-06T00:44:00.001-05:00

of the realization i came to while typing an email to a dear friend and sister.

i have not been praising God.

the main point of praise is the worship of God and i have not been doing it. during church i space out or am either antsy about getting out of the service or worrying about the week ahead. i haven't looked at the view from my spot on grandview drive and thought "wow. God made this. God made THIS." for so long. i have let my heart grow cold.

in a recent episode of grey's anatomy, meredith grey dies. she drowns actually. off a dock. when dr. shepherd saves her out of the water and gets her to the hospital they try for hours to revive her. she is hypothermic (she is a mere 58 degrees) and her heart has stopped beating.

i feel as tho that is me in my spiritual life. my heart has grown cold. it has stopped beating. there is no blood from the cross pumping through my veins.

as the episode progresses meredith is shown in some sort of afterlife where others who have gone on before her are trying to tell her that it is not too late for her. that she can still go back. but she needs to admit that she didn't fight to live. she took the opportunity of falling in the ocean to kill herself. she didn't swim, when she is a great swimmer. but she is too caught up in other things to admit that she didn't want to live, that she wanted the easy way out. eventually, she realized where she had let her heart get to, where she was willing to let herself die, and she admits it to the others before realizing what they told her and going back to life with her friends. the drs. were then able to revive her on the table by some sort of miracle.

it's almost like this for all believers. we all get to that point where we let ourselves drown. we are tired of fighting for the word. we are tired of living as a Christian in a non-Christian world. and we take the easy way out. but until we realize where our heart has gone and admit what our attitude was toward the whole thing, we will not have the opportunity to change. we will not be able to be revived by the breath of new life.

God will surround us in his loving arms and hold us close, warm up our hearts and claim us for his own again, if we are only willing to let go of our self-prescribed destinies.

are you willing to do that? am i? i want to be.

New babyyy! =]

2007-06-05T15:46:00.000-05:00

Abigail Grace. 18 1/2 inches. 7 lbs. 3 oz. 12:57 pm, June 6. Pictures soon, we hope. Jill and I hope to see her tonight.

All this talk of dilating vaginal areas and baby's coming out of 'em and epidurals got me thinking. God has given us women many gifts. Here are a few I thought of:

-epidurals
-adrenaline rushes [for labor]
-not having to pay for dinner and a movie while on a date
-tampons [thank you, God! That's the only one I've experienced so far; glorious things those are]
-not having to worry about hugging someone and anyone thinking we're gay
-boobs [in most cases, I like mine]
-the ability for the vagina to dilate to 10 cm by itself, and THEN stretch even farther to probably a good 5-6 inches [think about the pain we'd be in if they didn't stretch...*shudder*]
-hair straighteners
-cool shoes
-good smelling shampoo and conditioner
-the ability to multi-task [most men I know can't carry a sane conversation on the phone while using the grill. It's a lot of uh, um, huh?, and "Sorry, I didn't catch that; the steak 'caught on fire'."]
-and finally bras. How awkward would the world be without them?

Thank you, God, for these wonderful blessings. =] May we appreciate them, even though with some of them come curses.

sometimes...

2007-06-03T02:14:00.000-05:00

i hate change.

A must-watch video

2007-05-31T12:15:00.000-05:00

This is by Between the Trees. They work with TWLOHA and this song and video fits with them perfectly. I almost cried when I watched this.

2007-05-24T20:33:00.000-05:00

I love this passage with a passion. Just felt like sharing. :D

Philippians 3

Pressing on Toward the Goal

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

17Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

contradictions

2007-05-05T02:24:00.000-05:00

i realize that i envy people who can put together nicely thought out posts, but that is not me. i'm a rambler. and i feel like rambling, so i'm sorry.

i'm in one of those moods where i could go so many ways with my emotions. the way that is strikingly most appealing is crying. it could also go towards slap happy, seductive, or clingy. i hate it when i can't figure out what to feel like. do you know what i'm talking about?

i think that it's a feeling of discontentment, to be honest. i'm not gonna lie - devotions have not been my strong point these last few weeks of school (when, to tell you the truth, they should have been strongest) but spending every waking moment studying the actual material is taking more of a priority in life. and i find...when i let my life get like this, i hate stuff. if hate were a color, it would be the nastiest sickly brownish greenish color of death if you ever saw death - - - and it would be making spider veins on my heart. and that makes me grumpy.

i want to be completely and utterly sold out for God. i want Him to be the only true thing that matters to me. why is it so easy to care about other stuff. does it have to do with hormones and the culture? the way we were created? what? i desperately want a boyfriend. like. yeah. desperately. i don't want to want one. i hate wanting one. but there i go, just the same. boys aren't that great....they're pretty dumb actually and they mess things up. so why do i want that in my life? gahhhhh. but alas and alak - i do. why can't i be content to stand with my hands held high and my heart abandonded to the love and mercy and grace and beauty of the lover of our souls Jesus Christ?

i guess sometimes we just slip from the path and have to realize it before we can get back on. i hope this is me realizing it. blah.

1234 Tell me that you love me more

2007-05-04T22:23:00.000-05:00

Jill comes home. Tomorrow. YAY! IIIIIII can't waiiiiiiit! Woooo! I hope your travels are safe, which I'm sure they will be since your dad is driving.

Now I get to catch up on my sleep since I got 2 hours last night. =]

Can't wait to see you again Alfred Scalli...

2007-05-02T16:23:00.000-05:00

Tonight I go to a funeral of a man I loved and cherished dearly.
Yet I feel so much joy that his spirit is with the Lord.
I am at peace because I know he is.
It's very much a foreign feeling to me.
Every other time someone has passed on I have always felt cheated or bitter.
This time I know I won't cry tears of sorrow.
He knew too much pain on this earth. He goes on and I am even a little jealous.
I would love to see what he is seeing now. I will choose to trust in my Saviour's perfect timing.
Pray for the family as they morn. There is a lot of family that I don't know where they stand.
Love you all. Miss you more.

Welcome to the bloggin' family Miss Olivia ;)

whimper

2007-04-30T14:04:00.000-05:00

i think i failed my NT final.

i hate Paul a little right now.

why he have to write so many freakin' letters?

A Big Piece of Humble Pie

2007-04-29T21:30:00.001-05:00

So you know those times or days when you feel like you're just out of place? Like you don't belong there? You're just in the way? You came at a bad time? You just don't fit in? You're being annoying without doing anything?

Yeah, all of today felt like one of those days. I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and hide in my bed alone. For some reason, I've been having a lot more of those types of days. They really suck. And even though I try not to let it get me down, it does. Mostly because it comes from people I really respect and look up to.

And today was also a humbling day for me. I won't say why because there were embarrassing moments that played in. I don't like those days where God puts you back into your place and says, "Whoa now, don't get all high and mighty on ME. Or others for that matter." I know we all need those times, but made they're uncomfortably humbling. Ick. I guess that's something I've got to work on along with being less prideful.

On a more wonderful note: you come home in less than a week, Jill. I'm ready for you to be home. Also, I just found out yesterday that I won a $2000, possibly $2500, golf scholarship. And I don't even have to be on a golf team to to get it. It was an outside scholarship and I had to fill out all the regular application stuff, but then I also had to answer questions like, "How have you been involved with golf?" and "What has golf taught you?" Stuff like that. And that scholarship cuts out a lot of the money I needed to get in order for me to get down to a reasonable amount of money for loans. So I'm pretty pumped about that.

Have a great week. What has God done in your life lately? Anything I can pray for for you guys?

endings.

2007-04-26T23:38:00.000-05:00

i am feeling a sense of unwanted closure. it is the end of the school year and an end to a chapter of my life. although i will be back next year i know it will not be the same. it won't be the same sense of adventure, the same struggles, the same dangerous excitement, the same friends.

i'm starting to dread the loss of a sister, the seperation and growing apart from my dear friends here over the summer, and the loss of routine.

but i am so excited about coming home. this semester i feel i have lost much ground in many of my friendships. i feel like i've seen part of where the true priorities lay. i do not have on rose colored glasses anymore.

in fact, i will once again be reunited with a friend who i have been seperated from for the year and i am completely unaware as to how to handle that friendship again. in my heart i want it to be the same as before, but i know it cannot, so i am just hoping and praying that God will make me willing to take what He wants for the friendship.

i am feeling unable to take on the next phase of life. waking up at 6:30 every morning for work - taking an online English class - dealing with things from home again....but God never gives us more than we can bear...amen?

my heart is heavy. there's so much to look forward to, but there are so many things passing that i just want life to slow down again. God is going to have to grab my hand on this one - not sure how much longer i can hold on. but He's pretty amazing like that. He won't let go.

and guys - i miss you. seriously.

Rain, rain...

2007-04-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

<---I need some of this. Or something that heals at least.

Blah on blah days. I love rain, yet it somehow puts me in a sour mood. It probably doesn't help that I'm not getting enough sleep. Most of today was a bah-humbug-on-everything day. Maybe reading a good book will help. Any suggestions?

new friends... =D

2007-04-16T21:07:00.000-05:00

hey friends....i will post something of significance sooon....just wanted to say HEY to my new friends.. =D

here are some shots of stuff i like to do...

up, up, up, can only go up from here....

2007-04-16T09:16:00.000-05:00

i am sitting in the classroom where we learn about paul's letters,
and our teacher gave our tests back, i am very scared to see it.
as he comes my way i notice other people sighing softly, and i finally get my paper and i turn it to the front.

doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah do dah do dah....
doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah...

as i look at all the red marks i begin to feel my heart beat,
it is faster, growing faster, and i start to feel the tears come,
but i turn the paper over and i look at all the added points and after the division i realize i got a 'c.'

doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah do dah do dah....
doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah...

although a 'c' is not that great i'm smiling very broadly,
since the average grade in the class is usually below that.
and compared to last test's grade i have improved by 20 points and so i'm very very happy and instead i praise the Lord.

doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah do dah do dah....
doo doo do dah...doo doo do dah...

(to be sung to the tune of "Tom's diner" by Suzanne Vega)

I haven't met Olivia yet, so Hi, Olivia!

2007-04-13T17:50:00.000-05:00

Dude. Sweet pics. Are we amazing or what?!

Have you guys heard "She Was Watching" by Mark Schultz? If you haven't, grab some Kleenex's and listen to it. It's my new favorite song. *sigh* Every time I hear it [meaning the one time I've heard it], I cry and I picture my brother, Jason and his almost-4-year-old daughter, Annabelle.

I'm gonna copy off of someone else's idea, so here's some songs/bands you all should check out:

- she was watching by mark schultz [ANYTHING by him really]
- hey there delilah by plain white t's
- manly man and silence by bradley hathaway
- never knew and treasures by the rocket summer
- everything is beautiful by starfield
- aaron shust =]
- ellington [they're from australia! cooool accent!]
- faking my own suicide by matthew thiessen and the earthquakes
- deathbed by relient k
- my jesus by todd agnew
- comatose by skillet [the orchestra is amazing in this one!]
- keep holding on by avril lavigne
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- dandelions by five iron frenzy
- damelo, para tu amor, and la camisa negra all by juanes

new favorite?

2007-04-13T01:59:00.000-05:00

tax returns.

yeah baby.

butterflies

2007-04-04T22:38:00.001-05:00

oh God....give me wisdom and patience.

oh fire alarms -

2007-03-18T22:17:00.000-05:00

definitely not a favorite.

so i was just settling back into my comfy bed, after our hall meeting, to write a paper due at 4 pm tomorrow afternoon when the dreaded buzzing beeping noises began to fill the hallways. people began to scurry around, grabbing jackets and keys as they rushed out their doors, headed for the nearest stairwell.

for the first time ever i made it down and out first - i watched at the entirety of carter hall scurried out the doors like ants, running in their pj's and slippers to the chapel to save themselves from the recent cold front that has made it's way to lookout valley.

now, as we are all congregated before the picture windows of the chapel, watching the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles, we just long for the warmth and comfort of our rooms.

sometimes i hate carter fire alarms.

****edit****
well we're back in the chapel for a 2nd time tonight - this fire alarm thing is getting seriously old...

Hank E. =]

2007-03-18T18:35:00.000-05:00

At Bible study this past Thursday, someone said that when Jesus comes back, the dead Christians will rise first and then the living Christians will rise to meet them and Christ in the air. And then the non-Christians will be sent to hell and they will be shut out from God forever. And I got to thinking. God is happyness [I spelled that wrong on purpose because that movie is really good and I think that spelling is kinda cool now]. God is everything we love, everything good. Being shut out from God means no children giggling, no good music, no jokes, no love, no puppies, no smiling, no AFV, nothing. And I don't know. I mean I knew that being in hell wasn't going to be any fun and that it was going to be...well, hell. But for some reason, it just didn't register with me. Or maybe it re-registered with me. Either way, it's quite a scary thought.

sleepy.

2007-03-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

back at school. yuck.

classes tomorrow. yuck.

no large amount of sleep in the near future. yuck.

friends here for spring break? yay?

Funfact #34987151!

2007-03-07T18:23:00.000-05:00

so i thought it would be funny to tell you that i figured out today stutter when my neck is out of place... not always... but i have been stuttering all day long on and off. lol i miss working for a chiropractor!

Laughed today away...

2007-03-05T00:15:00.000-05:00

I thought I would go ahead an post today's happenings because it was one of those days you just look back and laugh on....

I didn't go to church today which i regret but I did enjoy sleeping in MUCHO! lol
I woke up to Stephanie calling me and telling me that herself, Todd and David were all going to work out at the Venice YMCA because it was just redone and its got all this new awesome stuff there. So I got up out of bed and threw on some work out clothes and we all drove up to Venice together. On the way up Dave and I were joking around about Stephanie's car because it has seen some rough times and the air has not been working 100% as of late. Plus, It is just really fun to make fun of Stephanie. So pretty much we joked on her the whole way up to Venice about her driving and her car and anything else we could think of. She wasn't the happiest... lol
Once we got to the Venice YMCA and the guy at the counter wouldn't let us in without a day pass ($10.00) even thought we all went to the Y in PC ... he was giving us a hard time and we didn't feel like arguing so we left. We decided to go up to Fruitville Rd in Sarasota because there is this health food store the guys wanted to go to. So onward we went. Dave and I proceeded to give Stephanie a hard time so about 30 minutes into Sarasota Stephanie got pissed off and had Todd drive. Dave and I took the hint and didn't pick on her so much anymore... lol Thinking about it, no one said anything for a really long time except to talk about where we were and where to go. On the way Stephanie had mentioned shopping at St. Armand's and I think that Todd was getting impatient driving so that is where he decided to go last minute. Now I had never been and neither had Dave but we didn't care too much cause we were just looking for something to do. So we get there and basically its just a long shopping strip with these really cute touristy places to shop. It reminded me alot of downtown Boca Grande but bigger and better and more to do. So we all walked around in the little shops for a while and then we all tried to find a place to eat. We walked inside 2 places, one of them which we actually sat down at, before deciding we didn't wanna eat there. It was funny. I had to stop the lady from getting us our drinks at the bar. lol Luckily i caught her before she started pouring the soda. We then decided on this Mexican looking place that really had nothing Mexican in it at all. It was very good though. The lesson learned from going there though was to never get drunk in public.... lol There was this group of people that were ridiculously drunk and obnoxiously loud to where a couple people close got up and left. It baffles me how people think sometimes... 1) What on earth is appealing about getting drunk? and 2) What would posses someone to do that publicly?.... I don't see it.. I just don't see it....
Anyway, the meal was great and the lady put our tabs on one bill and we all had card so we needed them separate. We clearly asked her to separate our bills so that Todd and Steph were on one and David and I were separate. I guess she thought we were a couple and put it as Steph and Todd, Dave and I.
Yea, that definitely brought on the we make such a cute couple jokes... lol

Anyway because the guys are ridiculous they wanted to get ice cream right after we ate lunch lol So we went to ben n jerrys and got us some ice cream.. Mmmm Mmmm Good. lol

The rest of our time on St. Armand's was just us feeling really out of place because we were in gym clothes and everyone else looked touristy and me not being able to stop laughing all day.

On our way home was really fun, I was laughing most of the ride home having a grand ole time when all of a sudden *Flap Flap Flap Flap* That noise... lol We ended up getting something in our tire and got stuck on the side of the road. The smart thing to do is change the tire, which we did. Only... we get the tire on.... and..... THERE IS NO AIR IN IT! lol Now, I think the biggest dilemma for all of us was we had to pee really bad. So i was the brave one and decided to go in the woods on the side of the road to relieve my very full bladder... lol Then the guys went but Stephanie wouldn't lol So we were making her laugh and she almost peed her pants! lol We also decided to take pictures......

We were sitting there for about 40 mins waiting for tripple A to get out there and right as they called to tell us they were 15 mins away a trucker stopped and helped us! lol He filled it up with air for us and we were on our way home.

Then we all went back to Stephanie's house and ate the left over dinner her mom had made... mmmmmm lol

Later on we went bowling with a bunch of friends and stayed out till about 11.

Very fufilling day.

Couldn't ask for much more.

Friends.

Food.

Fun.

Love.

2007-03-04T03:00:00.000-05:00

Sophie Davenport Harding
April 15, 1998 - March 3, 2007

!!!!gnidrah nelle llij yadhtrib yppah

2007-03-03T00:48:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL ELLEN HARDING! YOU ARE NOW 20 YEARS OLD!!!

What are you going to do now?!?!? *Big Grin*

it's smells like a night out on the colombian town

2007-03-02T21:17:00.000-05:00

so i'm sitting down in greyfriars tonight, alone, on my first night of spring freedom.

i am in one of those moods. you know the type. contemplative. words stuck inside my head and heart, just wanting to get out. wanting to have a deep, intellectual conversation about anything and everything with anyone and everyone. but here i am.

this should be a time of great revelation and intellectuality, but for some reason the words won't come. this makes me think of the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out." haha i don't expect you to understand that right away, as there is no clear connection between the two.

but to be honest i have been slacking in my devotions. i read my Bible last night. well. i skimmed 2 corinthians 1, actually. so i shouldn't be surprised that i have nothing real to say. no new insights. when you don't take the time to put good, new things into your brain, nothing good will ever come out of it. God promises he will reveal himself to us. well he is not going to do that while we're just sitting on our butts, slacking the days away. we need to take the time to have discipline and really WANT the communion with God.

well those are my brief and shallow thoughts for the night. the last night of teenagerhood. hopefully over the next year i will grow ever closer and ever more committed to the lover of my soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus - lover of my soul
Jesus - I will never let you go
You've taken me from the firey clay
Set my feet upon a rock and now I know

I love you
I need you
Though my world may fall I'll never let you go
My Savior
My closest friend
I will worship you until the very end.

2007-03-01T09:54:00.001-05:00

happy birthday justina marie!!!

2-to-the-0. :)

alignoiaweg

2007-02-28T22:42:00.000-05:00

wow so you and i are almost 20........

i feel weird about it.

I'm going to write now...

2007-02-26T23:07:00.000-05:00

Because knowing me I won't be in the mood to write for a very long time.

My thoughts for the night:

Have you ever thought about how an artist feels so much more than the average person?
I believe I feel on a deeper level than the norm... but i still feel pretty out of touch with my emotions at times, and know there are people who feel on a deeper level than I.

I was watching this documentary tonight when I got home from work that I just happened to stop on (I normally watch nothing on TV ever... or that 70's show.. :D but that's not the point.. bringing back the focus....) was about this woman who her whole entire life is music and she fascinates me.

She is a violinist.

She is beautiful.

She radiates such passion when she plays.

It totally and completely fascinates me. But part of it that is just so awe striking is how much deeper every feeling is for her. You can just see it on her face and in the way she plays. I have never seen anyone play with such feeling. She has become music. Its not just something she does. It is a part of her.

I just thrilled me to see that and makes me wish I had her passion.

So I thought I would share the thoughts. (yea I know I'm cheesy..)

Check her out. I might be going to see her in NY when I visit the family. :D

flute beatboxing....?!

2007-02-26T22:27:00.000-05:00

so....pretty excited about this guys. caron has inspired my whole thinking in this joint blog thing. i'm definitely a fan. especially since each blogger can post seperately without having to share a login and everything. it's basically gonna be amazing.

so for our first object of interest, i'd like to go ahead and bring to your attention the title of this post. now before i found this online yesterday i didn't even know what beatboxing officially was. that's a lie. i knew what it was but i didn't know that was the name for it. but look at this. i mean seriously. whoever came up with this was a freakin' magician or something. no way could i do this ON or OFF the flute. anyways, off i go to watch Handel's "Messiah" for a paper due tomorrow. yay.